For the most part I hate being alone. Not because I absolutely need the company of another, but because when Im alone Im not alone with just my physical self. Im alone with my emotion and my thoughts. My fears and my insecurities. My dreams and my nightmares. When Im alone I dont have anyone to take my mind off the negative things I can not control. When Im alone I dont have a voice to comfort me and drown out the screams of all the flaws I can not change. When Im around people I get to give my heart a rest, at least for a while. Im comforted by the fact that Im not forced to swim the pool of burden that often rests outside my hearts doors. My lonesome nights often end in tears. And wreckless thinking. And never ending doubt. Too often I am a scream under water. The only attendee to my pity party.
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For the most part I hate being alone. Not because I absolutely need the company of another, but because when Im alone Im not alone with just my physical self. Im alone with my emotion and my thoughts. My fears and my insecurities. My dreams and my nightmares. When Im alone I dont have anyone to take my mind off the negative things I can not control. When Im alone I dont have a voice to comfort me and drown out the screams of all the flaws I can not change. When Im around people I get to give my heart a rest, at least for a while. Im comforted by the fact that Im not forced to swim the pool of burden that often rests outside my hearts doors. My lonesome nights often end in tears. And wreckless thinking. And never ending doubt. Too often I am a scream under water. The only attendee to my pity party.
